My Beloved Wife

18 Years ago today my wife succumbed to cancer.  A day that I will never forget.  It’s ingrained in my mind like an Etch A Sketch.  I shake it but the image never goes away. It’s burned in.  Life is not an Etch A Sketch.

18 years is a long time ago. At times it seems as if it were yesterday and at times it seems as if it never happened.  But it did.  I truly embrace the memories, good and bad.  Not to dwell in them –  just notice them from time to time.

You were the love for certain of my life
You were simply my beloved wife
I don’t know for certain how I’ll live my life
Now alone without my beloved wife, my beloved wife – Natalie Merchant

 

You were the love for certain of my life
You were simply my beloved wife
I don’t know for certain how I’ll live my life
Now alone without my beloved wife, my beloved wife

Oh I can’t believe
I’ve lost the very best of me

You were the love for certain of my life
You were simply my beloved wife
I don’t know for certain how I’ll live my life
Now alone without my beloved wife, my beloved wife

Oh I, I can’t believe
I’ve lost the very best of me

You were the love for certain of my life
For 50 years simply my beloved wife
With another love I’ll never lie again

It’s you I can’t deny, it’s you I can’t defy
A depth so deep into my grief
Without my beloved soul

I renounce my life as my right
Now alone without my beloved wife, my beloved wife
My beloved wife, my beloved wife

My love is gone, she suffered long in hours of pain
My love is gone and now my suffering begins
My love is gone, would it be wrong if I should
Surrender all the joy in my life, go with her tonight?

My love is gone, she suffered long in hours of pain
My love is gone, would it be wrong if I should
Just turn my face away from the light, go with her tonight?

Natalie Merchant